About Us
Our staff have been dilligently trained across a multitude of arts.
From Kung-Fu to Ayurvedic Medicine, you can rest assured that your children will be contained in an environment that fosters resilience and promotes deep learning.
Our Principal earned his degree in Libertarianism from the Monte Faux in 1963, after dilligently practicing tantric Yoga across eastern Europe for 36 years. His vision permeates throughout our lesson plans, ensuring your child receives the most demeaning and comforting education within plausible deniability for these tough times.
The skills your child will acquire throughout their attendance will be critical as they advance through life, paving the way for super stardom or just a quiet life of chain-smoking on the front porch in a bathrobe.
As we are likely your closest school, and you’re unable to afford something better, we understand that there may be times life if tough and you’re unable to meet your payment plans for the week. In the event of a delinquent payment, our specialized and highly-trained procurement staff will be dispatched at first light the following business to ensure that your child will be coming to school!
About The Students
To help inform your decision about the game prior to release, we’ve got a few details we can publicly share. As all of this is subject to change, please don’t take any of this as a guarantee; we’re working hard to ensure the game is fun — because if a game isn’t fun, then it’s not worth playing. And if it’s not worth playing, then it’s certainly not worth spending money on.
We expect Jesterbrook Academy to be a labor of love for us; we don’t like the concept of Early Access mechanisms as they’re typically an easy out, or a cash-grab. We want to release a fully-featured game on day one, with consistent and fun, funny updates as fast as we’re able to implement.
We do not currently have a target release date, or a Steam page, or even a Steam Developer account — but updates will be visible once we get there.
-
In 2024, the current administration has proven vulnerable to wealthy lobbyists. As a last-ditch effort to become billionaires, dentists across the United States have pumped all of their resources into lobbying against flouride.
Flouride has since been considered a “chemical of concern” in the public water supply, rendering children vulnerable to tooth decay.
In it’s place, the President of The United States has determined that raw testosterone should be pumped into the public water supply in high doses, in order to toughen-up the coming generations of Americans.
This addition poses massive changes to children - they’ve been increasingly macho, egoist, some have been developed massive and swelling brains despite a low intelligence. Some of these children have become violent, using toy cars, pool noodles, and even their favorite tablets (with PopoFelon still playing at maximum volume) as projectiles or melee weapons.
-
The player will end the tutorial with basic knowledge of how to play the game, and, after choosing their parents-to-be, thrown into their first day at pre-school as a newborn. Each day, the player will have opportunities to explore, build their character, create opportunities, and learn about the other childrens’ (and administrators’!) weaknesses.
As the player advances through these age groups, the skills they’re able to learn will change, with some skills being locked to earlier age groups, and others being exclusive to the “big kids”.
After completing pre-school (at age 5), the player then has the option of going on “Summer Vacation”: A post-game mode of freely exploring the school, without kids and with few fewer administrators. Or starting a new life to go through the woes of pre-school all over again.
The actions completed throughout each life will contribute to over-all challenges, which may unlock cosmetics, special areas or dialogue options, or even special parents.
As Jesterbrook Academy is an early work in progress, these details may change.
-
We’re still determining the best ways to implement these, but currently, our plan involves:
Expansive overworld puzzles
Character building by interactions with objects or people
Hidden areas, secret dialogue options
Extensive combat and skills systems with typing and weakness/strengths
An economically-induced difficulty system; the poorer your family, the harder the game
A nature/nurture parental involvement system
Jokes. Tons of jokes. Some will be funny, some will be bad, and some people might get offended - but please remember, they’re just jokes.
Playthrough and game-wide unlocks for completing specific tasks and challenges
Random, classroom-specific events
A timing system to ensure each “day” feels fast, rewarding, and allows the player to grow their character as they see fit or necessary.
-
Updates will likely go into either a blog section of the JA website, or entirely into Discord, depending on how we feel about it at the time.
While the Discord server is online, it’s not currently ready for public access. When ready, we’ll be sure to add the details somewhere it is visible.
We intend to release solely on Steam, with support for Windows and Mac. While mobile support is not off of the table, we’re still budding developers and we’re only pushing an idea as far as it can go at the moment.
-
All graphics are hand-made; AI is not, and will not, be used to create the images within the game. As we believe in supporting artists of all makes, the only time AI is used is throughout the website - because Website work is typically pretty predatory and scummy
-
For ‘A/A/A’. We’re making this game to try and ensure that our children grow up finding the humor in life, that nothing is ever taken too seriously, and that we all get to see our children grow up in safe and loving homes, without worry or want.
Special thanks to Beans, our friends, and even co-workers that we have bounced ideas off of constantly and gotten both hilarious and constructive feedback and criticism from.